How to deal with a person who is angry?

We are taught to control our emotional feelings when we are young. We learn to be polite, patient, and hide our anger to people in everyday life. Most of us express our feelings indirectly: slamming doors, sullen silence, or snubbing others. Therefore, it is important to learn how to release anger in safe but effective ways. Unexpressed anger can smolder, causing stress and affecting physical health. After all, anger can escalate into violence. So, when we are dealing with a person who is angry, here are some strategies we can use: understand his/her anger, communicate with him/her, and help him/her to express the anger.

First of all, when we are dealing with someone who is angry, try to understand what his/her anger is. If we are talking with an angry person, the first thing we have to do to control ourselves is not to be involved in his/her strong emotions. So, calm down, and ask why he/she is mad and listen to what he/she wants to say to us. Understanding the elements and the background that make this person angry makes it easier for us to communicate with him/her. Do not try to ask someone who is already angry to calm down; it is the same as asking someone who is sobbing not to cry.

Secondly, try to communicate with him/her. It is possible to deal with anger by talking with someone. So, when we are trying to help an angry person, try to talk with positive manners. For example, avoid blaming, or accusing him by putting him on the defensive position; instead, encourage him to tell people what he feels and try to give him some feedback. Our body language and voices are very important as well. It is very hard to listen to someone if he/she is coming across in a loud, threatening way. So, when we are communicating with him/her, we look him/her in the eyes and lean forward slightly and show we are concerned about his/her problems.

Third, help him/her express his/her anger. If people do not deal with anger directly, their anger might turn into physical or physiological problems. Therefore, if communicating with the person who is angry does not help release the person¡¦s anger, then suggest him/her find other healthy and harmless way to express his/her anger. Doing exercises can help people transform their anger into energy releasing; people usually feel disencumbered by exhausting their energies. There are also other safe outlets, such as punching a pillow, pounding clay, ripping paper, beating a drum, taking a nap, or crying out load. Or we can try to take him/her to any places to transfer his/her attention. Furthermore, it is always better to express anger in safe ways rather than hurtful ways.

From birth, everyone tends to have angry feelings. The nature of anger moves us to be loud, to bang, and to destroy things; however, anger can always be expressed in a way that is least harmful for everyone. It takes great courage to express our anger, feelings, and strong emotions. If we help people to learn how to express anger in positive ways, and follow the above methods, I believe that anger can be handled easily and harmlessly too.